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Feeling or knowing that your girlfriend no longer loves you tin can exist a heartbreaking and frustrating experience. Fortunately, while you tin can't actually control or change how your girlfriend feels about you, there are things you tin can do to help salvage the relationship. Communicate honestly with your girlfriend well-nigh where y'all stand up and what you lot tin both do to amend things. Try to rekindle your old feelings for each other with pity, intimacy, and romantic gestures. If you don't feel like you lot can improve the situation on your ain, look into couples counseling or private therapy.

  1. 1

    Communicate with your girlfriend near what went wrong. If you lot want to repair your human relationship with your girlfriend, you will need to find out why she feels the way she does. Ask her if she can sit downward with you and have a heart-to-heart conversation about how she is feeling and what you tin both do to make information technology amend.

    • If you and your girlfriend have been fighting, wait until you've both calmed down before having a discussion. Trying to talk while both of you are upset may lead to more fighting and resentment.[1]
    • You lot might get-go by telling her how you lot experience, and so inviting her to give you her perspective. Use "I" linguistic communication to express your feelings. For example, "I feel unloved lately, and I'm afraid we might be drifting apart. How are you feeling about things betwixt u.s.?"
    • Do your best to stay calm and civil, and listen actively to what she has to say.

  2. 2

    Avoid blaming your girlfriend for problems in the relationship. When things are going wrong, it'southward easy to start pointing fingers. Instead of blaming her for any problems betwixt y'all, listen to what she has to say with an open mind. Once you allow her have her say, yous may realize that you lot've been misinterpreting her words and actions.[2]

    • Even if your girlfriend is at to the lowest degree partly responsible for things going sour between you, blaming her will simply put her on the defensive and create a deeper wedge between you.
    • Putting all the blame on her too takes away your own agency in the relationship and makes it harder for you lot to focus on making things better.[three]

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  3. three

    Take responsibility and apologize for your ain mistakes. Calmly admit your mistakes to your girlfriend and apologize without making excuses or trying to justify yourself. Recall that taking responsibility doesn't mean blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. It just means reflecting on your ain actions and recognizing that you lot there are things you may accept done that contributed to the rift between the 2 of you lot.[iv]

    • For example, you might say, "You're right, I oasis't been as circumspect to you lot lately equally I should have been. I let myself go likewise caught upwards in my own projects and didn't really think near your needs. I'm sorry, and I'll make an try to do ameliorate from now on."
    • Avert apologizing in a style that puts the blame on your girlfriend or excuses your actions. For example, don't say something like, "I'one thousand sorry, just you shouldn't have frustrated me like that."

  4. 4

    Validate her feelings . Listening to what your girlfriend has to say about what she'due south feeling may be hard, but it'southward actually a good affair if she's willing to open to you. Let her know that you recognize what she's feeling and respect her right to feel that manner. That will become a long fashion toward showing her that yous really care about her and the relationship.

    • Endeavor showing that yous empathise what she feels past "reflecting" her feelings back in your own words.
    • For example, if she complains that you lot spend too much time watching TV instead of having quality time with her, say something similar, "It sounds like you feel lonely and frustrated when I sentinel TV in the evenings instead of sitting down to conversation with y'all over dinner."[5]

  5. v

    Work together to come up with solutions. In one case y'all've pinpointed the principal problems that are driving a wedge between you and your girlfriend, ask her if she'd be willing to sit downwards with you and talk nigh what you lot tin both practice to make things better. You can offer your own ideas, just be sure to inquire for her input and listen carefully to what she has to say.

    • For example, if she'south frustrated because she feels like she's doing too much work in the human relationship, talk about ways to split up up your responsibilities more than evenly. You lot could offering to take turns cooking or washing the dishes, for case.

  6. 6

    Make a delivery to modify and stay consistent. Acknowledging the areas where you need to amend and promising to work on them will not exist plenty. You lot demand to testify your girlfriend through your actions that you are truly gear up to make a change. Make specific promises and follow through on them.

    • For example, maybe your girlfriend has trouble trusting you because you've been unreliable in the past. Make a signal of establishing consequent beliefs patterns going forward—e.thou., if you lot say you are going to be dwelling at a certain fourth dimension, make certain you are there!
    • If you do sideslip up, own up to it and apologize immediately.

  7. vii

    Respect her need for infinite. If things are really bad betwixt yous and your girlfriend, she may not even exist willing to have a give-and-take right now. If she doesn't want to talk, don't endeavour to force it—she volition only end up feeling smothered and resentful. Instead, reach out and let her know you lot are willing to talk whenever she's ready, and so back off and get out her alone.[6]

    • You lot might say something similar, "I understand that you don't feel like talking about things right now. I just wanted to let you know that I honey you and actually want united states to make this work if we can. I'll be hither if you want to talk."

  8. 8

    Have that y'all may not be able to save the human relationship. Recollect that you can't actually control what your girlfriend does or how she feels nearly y'all. All you can exercise is allow her know how y'all experience and practice your all-time to show her that you're willing to work on making things amend.[7]

    • If your girlfriend does break upward with you, respect her conclusion. Lashing out at her or pursuing her when she's asked you to get out her solitary will not make her more than inclined to give things another chance.

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  1. one

    Inquire your girlfriend how yous tin can aid her experience loved. If your girlfriend is cooling off on you, it may exist considering she'southward feeling unloved herself. Communicate with her openly and ask her what you can exercise to show affection in a way that she volition appreciate.[8]

    • Every woman is an individual, so don't assume yous know what your girlfriend wants or needs. She might want more than physical affection, or she may wish yous'd spend more fourth dimension discussing her favorite books with her. Yous won't know until you lot ask!

  2. 2

    Offer her sincere compliments every day. Anybody wants to experience appreciated, loved, and desired in a relationship. One way to rekindle your girlfriend'due south interest in your relationship is to remind her of all the things you love about her.[9]

    • Make sure non to simply focus on superficial things, like her appearance. Your girlfriend probably appreciates hearing that y'all think she'south beautiful, merely remember to annotate on who she is every bit a person, too.
    • You could compliment her on things similar her personality, her accomplishments, or fifty-fifty memories of your time together and what they mean to y'all.

  3. 3

    Make romantic gestures (and not simply on Valentine'southward 24-hour interval). Call up about the kinds of things yous and your girlfriend did together in the early days of your relationship, when things were exciting and fresh. Doing these things again can help bring back old feelings and evidence that yous are all the same interested in making the human relationship fun and joyful.[10]

    • For case, you might try surprising your girlfriend with a gift or taking her back to the same place where you had your first date.
    • More practical gestures tin be romantic, as well—for example, you could surprise her by cooking her favorite dinner or offer to requite her a massage later on a long mean solar day at work.

  4. 4

    Be intimate without expecting sexual practice . If y'all want sex activity all the time, your girlfriend might beginning feeling like intimacy is a chore. Give her some space, simply don't concur back from offering other gestures of affection, like hugging, cuddling, kissing, or holding hands. Yous may discover that she becomes more interested in sexual activity in one case you stop trying to initiate it every bit often.[xi]

    • You may also find information technology helpful to have an open and honest talk with your girlfriend near what both of you wait from your sex life. Finding out what she likes and doesn't like tin can better your intimate moments and help you connect on a deeper level.

  5. 5

    Show a genuine interest in things she cares about. Have time to really get to know your girlfriend and become familiar with her values and interests. She'll feel a stronger and deeper connection with y'all if you're able to testify that you are interested in who she is as a person.

    • For case, you might ask your girlfriend questions about the things she'due south interested in. Watch movies or read books with her so that you can talk over them together.
    • If she has whatsoever favorite hobbies, consider trying them out together.
    • Even if yous don't find all of her interests that exciting, you can show her that you value her past making time to mind when she wants to talk almost the things she loves.

  6. 6

    Permit yourself to be vulnerable with her. Open up up to your girlfriend about your thoughts and feelings. If you're not used to beingness vulnerable, this can feel scary or uncomfortable at first. However, doing and then will help create a more than meaningful connection between the 2 of you and will evidence your girlfriend that yous trust her and feel at ease with her.[12]

    • Being open and vulnerable tin also help you get your needs met, considering your girlfriend volition have an easier time understanding and empathizing with you.

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  1. 1

    Enquire your girlfriend to attend couples counseling with yous. If your relationship is actually strained or stagnant and you aren't making much headway on your own, talk to your girlfriend about counseling. An experienced counselor can help you lot make sense of what'south going wrong in your relationship and work with both of you lot to develop strategies for improving things.

    • Going to couples counseling is also a good way to show your girlfriend that yous are serious most making the relationship work.
    • Exercise an online search or inquire your doctor to recommend good couples counselors in your area.
    • If concrete intimacy is a large problem in your relationship, you might benefit from seeing a sexual practice therapist.

  2. 2

    Go to counseling on your own if she won't go with you. If your girlfriend is unwilling to go to counseling with yous, don't endeavour to force the outcome. You may still find that you lot can benefit from seeing a therapist on your own, notwithstanding. They can give you advice on how to approach your human relationship in a healthier way or—if necessary—to move on.

    • Look for a therapist who has feel helping people with human relationship issues. Yous might see a clinical psychologist, a wedlock and family therapist, or a licensed clinical social worker.

  3. iii

    Look into relationship back up groups in your surface area. Support groups can be great tools for helping you work through your relationship challenges. Enquire your doctor or therapist to recommend a support group for relationship problems in your area, or do an online search for couples support groups nearly you.

    • Support groups can be led by professional counselors or completely peer-based.
    • Being with other couples facing similar challenges can aid yous gain insight into your own situation. A grouping tin likewise exist a rubber and supportive space for you and your girlfriend to work through your issues together.

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Add New Question

  • Question

    Can a daughter fall back in honey with you while y'all're dating?

    Joshua Pompey

    Joshua Pompey is a Human relationship Expert with over ten years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own human relationship consulting concern since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Expert Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to equally the all-time online dater in the globe.

    Joshua Pompey

    Relationship Expert

    Expert Answer

    Support wikiHow by unlocking this skilful reply.

    Absolutely. However, if you lot're in a relationship and their feelings are fluctuating dramatically from day to mean solar day, it'southward really non a good sign. You may feel like a 10 1 twenty-four hours, and a 9 the next day, but information technology should be moderately consequent.

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  • If y'all think your girlfriend is abusive or that your relationship has become toxic, it's important to leave the human relationship for your own wellness and safety. Don't try to stay with anyone who regularly manipulates you lot, insults or belittles yous, attempts to control you, threatens you, violates your boundaries, or physically hurts you.

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